house party on thursday night. it was okay. just had fun with sau and random ppl. (:

parker's <33 bday party yesterday! the food was great. and it was a whole lot of fun playing silly games like murderer and blowwindblow, with everyone being happy and perky and cheery and all like what it was during the first 3 months. was supposed to meet yuru and all at 2pm but i woke up at 1230! and i was so flustered. haha. by the time i finished replying smses and bathed and got dressed and had lunch it was raining cats and dogs so i could only leave the house at 3? and then we just walked around and bought a whole bunch of things for parker shared by 16 of us from the class. (: we shopped till 7 and were late for the party! but he seemed happy with the presents and im so pleased with us. :D

selflessness and selfishness are subjective. and who am i to judge and critisize human nature?

today, my bro called me and my mum after my doc's appointment at 12plus to tell us that the nurse from my great grandfather's old folks' home to tell us that he was dying. my heart sank. i dont really know how to describe how i felt then. my grandma went down to johor(yes that was where the old folks home was. not singapore but far far away in johor.) with my granduncle to visit him immediately. in the afternoon while me and my bro were watching tv we got another call that told us that he had passed away. according to my mum he passed away after seeing my grandma and granduncle and saying a few words to them. it's as if he'd been waiting for them? the last time my bro visited him, he told him he could barely remember them...amnesia i think. and the last time they visited, i didnt even go with them. too busy? too lazy? is there ever going to be a good enough reason? would one cry over the death of someone they barely knew? cause i did. but i cant understand why i did. just a sudden burst of emotions. regret guilt maybe sadness. sadness that my relative passed away. sadness that i couldnt have made more of an effort. that my whole family couldnt. that he's gone and who's really gna miss him when we barely knew him. sadness that wasnt enough to stop me from carrying on with life as normal. for here i am still blogging. still chatting online. my memories of him are very limited. i confess that i've never made a conscious effort to get to know him better. one think that sticks in my mind about him is this inside joke we have about my great grandma. there are times he and my great grandma come to stay with us when my granduncle goes overseas. and for the few days i just take it that he and my great grandma are there. just there. language barrier is one reason why we don't really communicate. i cant speak dialect. but is that enough reason to not try to know your elders well? as his great granddaughter the most i have done is turn on the tv for him and pass him the newpapers. i cant say that if i knew this would happen, i would have done bla bla bla. because life and death are part and parcel of life. and he was 90+. (no, i dont even know his exact age.) so i did know that this was going to happen. i guess it's just sad, that at the end of it all, he's going to die in a different country, cremated in a different country, with his only 2 children at his deathbed, and i cant even remember the last time i saw him? i can vaguely remember the white hair, and how my grandma would sometimes cut his hair in the kitchen when he stayed over. my mum is in malaysia now, along with my aunts and uncles for his funeral. i dno how it's gna be done. probably a simple one. so this is life huh? i dont want my grandparents who have lived with me all my life to leave the same way. i dont want my parents to leave the same way. but can i promise to make the last moments of their lives worthwhile? at the end of the day, are we all too caught up with our lives to have time for the people who should be the closest to us?

you come in this world and you go out just the same
the chronicles of life and death
-good charlotte

went to prick my finger to give blood for the bone marrow register today. the first time i pricked, there wasnt enough blood and i had to prick again on my ring finger heh. anyway it kinda still hurts now. just a lil.

lost my temper at my bro. =/

thanks chinnam (:

is that too much that i'm asking for?

ORA(old rafflesians association) DAY yesterday! acted as a ghost in the last room of the haunted house that RP made. im quite proud of us for successfully transforming the av projection room into sort of a haunted house, even if it meant staying in school past 9pm on both thurs and fri night(which explains why i havent been online in a while). this whole haunted house thing really allowed me to get to know all the RP ppl better. (: anyway i woke up at figgin 4am on sat morn to bathe and all so that i could reach sch at 6am. did my make up but my skin was all flaky cause im allergic to the make up i did the day before during rehearsals. still, we managed to get everything done by around 7.40am and went to the av room/haunted house to wait for ppl to arrive. and then we started off quite slow and the queue was growing so much so that there were probably 200+ ppl waiting outside! we had no choice but to speed up several performances, especially since ppl wasted a lot time being wishywashy about entering. i screamed so much that by 11plus my voice was almost gone. anyway we managed to scare some ppl (weijean dearest cried! im so sorry hon.), while others just walked out laughing. still, im happy with what was done and we managed to raise quite a sum for the bone marrow donor programme!(tickets were priced at $5) :D

i was having such a bad headache last night after dinner after clearing up for haunted house i just bathed and slept till 2pm today! haha. i love sleeping though it's such a waste of time.

HOLIDAY TMR due to ora da. plus, friday is good friday! im expecting tmr to be a great week. (: going pooling tmr. it's been soooo long.

oh and i got a new phone. my bro got a nano but for some reason it wouldnt connect to itunes in his account on the comp and has to use my account/the laptop. loser him heh. nah i shant be mean. i think my comp is just screwed up cause like the last time i got my ipod it took me forever to get itunes to load songs onto it. hmm. or does the prob lie with apple.

i got into raffles players(RP). =D which is drama btw. so im really happy. though the audition was too embarrassing heh.

went out with shiyi on friday and went shopping. (: i miss doing that sooo much. oh and ate at coffeeclub at ngeeann city. loadsa yummy stuffs. (:

went back to school to make the props for this haunted house thing that RP is doing. will prob have to stay back till late to do it tmr heh.

i'm missing so many things and people now i feel like im suffocating.

i hate pms-ing.
pissed off.
and weepy.