i recieved an email from kenny chua at http://www.malaysiaresorts.com.my promoting their tour packages. "Phuket Bali ,Redang ,Perhentian Mata Fair Promotion---From RM258 only"
admist very unsuccessfully trying to finish mugging >1 chapter a day, resisting the urge to go shopping and having to return my delifrance uniform(and going all the way to pandan loop to claim back my deposit), it's quite amusing that kenny chua actually thinks i have the time to go on a holiday.

so it's been 2 days since the "holiday" started. i'm happy to announce that i finally got my butt off the couch to do some exercising at amore. my package is expiring soon and i still have 7 more sessions. opps.

nus open house on saturday was pretty useful. not that i'm any clearer about where i'm headed. but at least i can make a more informed choice about what to study in future.

romp at power station was okay. benny&samuel's group got 1st runner up. the group that got first was really good. i wouldn't call this my virgin clubbing trip cause...well i didnt even bother dancing at all. but it was my virgin trip to a club. and it wasnt anything extraordinary. power station was pretty much everything i envisioned a club would be. i don't hate it. but im not lovin' it either. like my dad said, there's a right age for everything. i'll have plenty of time to go clubbing when im older no?

there's also this thing that's taking up a lot more time than expected. it'd better turn out good.

much love from me and study hard.

http://tv.peekvid.com/ this site has like everything. but the quality of the video is pretty bad. =( nonetheless, it works for wasting time when ure not in the mood to study. or if u have 4 tests next week and countless tutorials and dno where to start. ah well.

post df blues are easing. which is good i guess. but i still cant wait for ppp. the flowers i got lasted a lot longer than the ones i recieved during previous productions. hmm.

zhangfan's feeling quite moody these days and i dno what to say to make her feel better. for all it's worth, i'm always here for you! for you to throw tantrums and rant at. cause our friendship's special like that. :D and im sorry i didnt notice you were feeling sad. =/ too absorbed with my own little problems i guess. happens too often. >.<
as we talked on the phone, she asked if i've ever failed in life. honestly, no. but failure is subjective i guess. i've failed countless tests. but that's not failure. i've always succeeded in doing a good job as long as i put my heart and soul into it. and even if i didn't succeed, i wouldn't call it failure as long as i've tried my best and isnt that the most important thing? i don't fear failure. but i do fear disappointment. when i was younger i'd be so confident of every test. and when i got 99 instead of 100 i'd feel disappointed. and then i kinda stopped hoping. well kind of. i just went through life not expecting much. i study and do things without expecting anything in return. so long as i've done my best i guess my consience is clear. and so far, this theory/philosopy has never backfired on me. i've always gotten the results i deserved, sometimes even better than i deserved. well anyway im thinking a lot of us don't actually know what failure is. like we don't know what it's like to fail. life's been too smooth sailing i guess.
as we grow older we tend to find less and less reasons to smile. or rather our happy moments < troubled moments. cause we know so much more. coming to rj has opened my eyes to a whole new breed of people. and hearing about my mum's office politics just leaves me wondering if i'll ever be in the comfort of trustworthy and reliable friends in the working world. i guess ignorance is bliss. who would think about such pessimistic thoughts when u were young and spent ur day aceing tests in school, going home and binged on chocolates without growing fat? so im just really thankful for the friends i have. i'm lucky like that i guess. i need to learn to treasure the people around me more. <3
life can be so draining at times. or maybe it's our own fault. if we didnt desire a perfect life, maybe it'll be easier to be happy. cause we need to know when wanting something is wanting too much. and sometimes we need to realise that the things we want aren't making us happy. and we should simply make a choice to let go or bear with it, and then move on with life. cause that's the way things are. so i make it a point to only do things i enjoy(except studying of course since it's not really a choice) my brother needs to learn that things won't always go his way. my mum needs to learn to forget and move on and live with the decisions she made. i need to learn when to stop doing everything i enjoy so i've time to do tasks i don't enjoy but have an obligation to complete. we all need to learn that we can't have everything in life i guess. and more importantly, we ought to learn that the only thing that's really within our control is our ability to make the best out of what we have.
you have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give -eleanor roosevelt

so much babbling. im contemplating publishing this.